Be Still
by GreatScott324
Summary: AU - Cosima and Delphine are both undergraduate English majors encountering one another for the first time. Though their connection is almost instant, both women are struggling to face past demons and cope with present stresses. Will they be able to forge a real relationship amidst all of this?
1. One Hundred Percent Platonic

**Hey guys. So while I'm not totally new to fanfiction, it has been several years and I am new to OB fanfiction. If you read, please let me know your thoughts in a review so that I'll know whether this story is worth continuing. I'm just trying to cope with how much I'm missing OB between seasons, as I'm sure many of us are. Thanks!**

* * *

"I guess I just don't really see the point. I mean, like, I understand that it's important to record cultural aspects of a particular place and time, of course. But why waste all your pages, like, describing rooms and shit instead of focusing on the human spirit or something that really matters, you know?" The short brunette manages to speak in a voice that sounds simultaneously exhausted and exuberant, hands gesturing in front of her at a rapid rate. When her glasses slip, she uses one hand to push them back up over her eyes.

Nothing could be more infuriating, Delphine Cormier thinks as she watches the tiny brunette from across the room. It is the second week of her senior year at UC Berkeley, where she's studying English. This class, American Realism and Naturalism, is one she's been waiting for. While she hasn't read most of the books on the syllabus yet, she loves it so far. She loves that so much of it is rooted in reality and can be traced back to a certain culture, time period, or event. It somehow makes the work more tangible, more accessible, and she doesn't see how that could be a bad thing. Yes, these books will explore reality, but she can already tell they'll do so in a beautiful way that relates timeless truths. How can someone not appreciate that?

Generally, Delphine isn't one to talk much in class. She's always prepared for discussion. She reads and makes notes on the readings, as well as a list of potential contributions to the discussion for when she gets called on. But until that time, she's typically content to listen to what other people have to say. But this time, the dreadlocked brunette gets to her, and she can't help herself from responding.

"If you think it's all useless, why are you taking this class?" Delphine asks from across the room, immediately regretting it and expecting the girl to get angry or defensive.

Instead, Cosima Niehaus offers an amused expression from behind her glasses, chuckling quietly. When Dr. Leekie directs the discussion away from their encounter towards the importance of carefully evaluating the characters in William Dean Howells's _The Rise of Silas Lapham,_ Cosima watches the blonde blush and turn away to refocus on her note taking.

Because Cosima doesn't take notes, she keeps her eyes on the blonde. No doubt, Cosima has noticed her before. Also a senior English major, Cosima has seen the blonde around campus, but they have never had classes together before this semester. Now two days a week they share back-to-back classes in Realism and Postmodern literature. They have certainly never spoken to one another until this moment. Cosima has stolen glances before, but now she really examines the woman across the room. Her short, curly, blonde hair is in slight, purposeful disarray, and she's dressed in tight black jeans, knee-high boots, and a white button down done all the way up. It's a good look for her, albeit a bit professional for an undergraduate class. Soon she is completely refocused, diligently taking notes and nodding her head towards Dr. Leekie when he speaks, seeming to have completely forgotten about Cosima's comments.

When class ends, Cosima takes her time getting to Postmodern, needing to run to the bathroom and grab a drink. Though the two classrooms are right next to each other and close to the bathroom and a vending machine, somehow Cosima still strolls into class two minutes late, earning her a hard look from Dr. Sadler. Noticing an empty seat next to the blonde, she settles there and takes out a copy of the book they are discussing: _Nightwood_ by Djuna Barnes.

"Let's start simple," Dr. Sadler says. "Who is liking this book?"

Cosima and a few other students raise their hands enthusiastically.

"Who is really not liking it?"

Most of the other students, including Delphine, raise their hands.

"Delphine," Dr. Sadler says abruptly. "Tell me why you don't like it."

Of course she would call on me, Delphine thinks. She bites her bottom lip for a second before she speaks, something that does not go unnoticed by Cosima. "It's just not… I don't find it very reader friendly," Delphine finally says. "There are so many allusions to look up, and I find the structure to be really off putting. Some parts seem totally out of place, and there doesn't seem to be a reason for the disorganization or for the lack of answers the reader gets."

This time, it's Cosima who can't keep her mouth shut, though that's nothing new for her. "But is that not the whole point?" she says, hands gesticulating in front of her again. "Barnes is defying the traditional reader's expectations and breaking boundaries and binaries to show us something real and raw."

"Well articulated, Cosima," Dr. Sadler throws in before Delphine has a chance to respond. Then she moves on to another student, asking more specific questions about the opening of the novel.

Delphine deflates, and Cosima notices. Suddenly she feels bad for jumping in, even if she does disagree with the blonde. Most of the class probably shares Delphine's frustrations, and to an extent Cosima can sympathize with that. When class is over, she stops Delphine, who is hastily tossing her books into her bag, by placing her hand on the taller woman's forearm.

"Hey, I'm sorry if I was rude before," Cosima says. "I didn't mean to come off like a bitch if I did. I, like, totally get where you're coming from." She offers the blonde a hesitant smile, pulling her hand away partly in case she's made her uncomfortable and partly to keep herself in check. She's used to beautiful women, but she's not sure she's encountered anyone as beautiful as her French classmate. In many ways, Cosima has tamed her wild sexuality in the last few years, and she certainly has avoided any _real_ romantic relationships. But something about the blonde is so totally disarming to her, and Cosima wants to know her. A girl can't have too many friends, right?

Delphine waves her hand in dismissal as she finishes putting her books away. "No problem." She stands.

Cosima stands as well, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "I'm Cosima, by the way."

Delphine offers a small smile, purely because the brilliant one Cosima is giving her is so infectious. "Delphine."

They walk towards the classroom door, Cosima still smiling. Once they're out the door, not wanting the conversation to end, she says, "Oh, do you-"

Her sentence is cut off by the words of a tall, chiseled, dark-haired man in a tight t-shirt. "Hey, babe. Want to go get some lunch?"

"Sure," Delphine responds, landing a kiss on the man's cheek.

Cosima watches them leave hand in hand. She is distracted by the recent encounter for several seconds before she checks her watch and curses, darting across campus in an effort to make it to her creative writing class on time.

* * *

Two days later, Cosima finds her seat in Realism next to Delphine. She is early for class for one of the first times in her life, and there are only a few other students in the room at this point.

Delphine clears her throat and looks up when Cosima sits next to her. She's not upset with the brunette at all, nor had she ever been. What had upset her in Postmodern the other way was that Dr. Sadler praised Cosima's thoughts on the novel without allowing for the validity of Delphine's thoughts to also be acknowledged. "Don't you usually sit over there?" she asks, still half distracted by the notes she's reviewing in front of her. But she lazily points to a seat across the room.

Cosima smirks, planting an elbow on their table and resting her chin in her palm. She turns her body a bit to face the blonde more fully. "So you _have_ noticed me," she says, eyes sparkling.

Chuckling, Delphine answers without looking up from her notes this time. "Oui, I have noticed that you fundamentally disagree with my opinions of literature." Delphine is teasing, amused by this total stranger. But she can't say she's not intrigued by the brunette. She's seen her around campus, and though she's never approached her, she's wondered about her. Cosima seems to exist in a constant state of simultaneous fatigue and energy, and many of Delphine's professors have mentioned the brunette in classes, recalling fondly her brilliant observations, papers, and independent research. Delphine feels a twinge of jealousy towards the brunette, but mostly she is curious about what makes her tick and what exactly everyone thinks is so brilliant about her. So far, Delphine must admit that her demeanor and playfulness are infectious.

"You know, the French thing is totally hot," is Cosima's response. Totally platonic compliments never hurt anyone, Cosima thinks.

Delphine looks up this time, caught off guard and blushing. She shakes her head in dismissal before returning to her notes.

Cosima is smiling, and she allows a few seconds of silence before speaking again. "What are you so focused on?"

"Notes," Delphine responds.

"Notes?" Cosima's brow crinkles. She leans over a bit to see the papers in front of the blonde, which are covered top to bottom in blue ink that outlines a timeline for Howells's book, a plot summary, and bulleted talking points. "Shit, do we have quiz or something?"

Delphine attempts to ignore the invasion of her space but can feel a stronger blush covering her neck and exposed chest. A subtle heat surrounds her, the same that she noticed when Cosima touched her arm the other day. Not sure what to make of that, she's thankful when Cosima returns to her original distance. "Non, no quiz. I just like to be prepared for discussion."

Cosima raises her eyebrows and lets out a breath. "Wow. What a nerd."

Delphine takes offense, looking up with a frustrated brow. "Just because I like to be prepared and-"

"Hey, Delphine," Cosima interrupts her, placing a hand on the blonde's forearm as she had done two days before. "I'm kidding. I mean, yes, you are a nerd, but that's not a bad thing. It's actually hella cute, and like I said, you know, the hot thing." She smiles wide, her tongue poking between her teeth.

Delphine is sure that if her blush wasn't obvious before, it is now. She covers her face with her hands briefly and then laughs when she sees Cosima's adorably satisfied smile. She decides to divert the conversation away from herself. "You know, one might be tempted to call you a nerd as well, based on your answers in class and how much all the professors seem to love you."

"One might be tempted, huh?" Cosima responds, still smiling.

"Oui, quite," Delphine answers, echoing the shorter woman's bright smile.

Dr. Leekie comes in and begins class, cutting their conversation short. Class is fairly uneventful, Cosima throwing in thoughts every now and then or responding to claims she doesn't agree with. Delphine manages to make it through the full hour without getting called on, but she's paying attention the whole time. She pays special attention when Cosima talks, watching the brunette as she gets totally lost in what she's saying, eyes shining with enthusiasm and hands gesturing all around her. Even if Delphine disagrees with some of Cosima's ideas, she can't help but admire what is clearly a passion for literature and smile at the bright ways Cosima expresses herself. Her brightness really is infectious.

In Postmodern, Cosima sits next to Delphine again, this time managing to make it on time, just before Dr. Sadler begins class. Delphine is not so lucky during this class, getting called on by Dr. Sadler twice. Delphine could swear the woman is out to get her, just waiting for the day when Delphine is totally unprepared and makes a fool out of herself. But, as usual, she is totally prepared to give her answers. Today, she's more conscious of her words, watching Cosima's reactions to her out of the corner of her eye. Sometimes the brunette shakes her head, disagreeing, while others she surprisingly nods in agreement. Delphine feels satisfied with this, excited that maybe they don't disagree on everything, though she can't be sure why she cares about that. This girl is a stranger.

As they walk out of the classroom side by side, Cosima, noticing the absence of the guy from the other day, says, "No beefcake to take you to lunch today?"

Delphine looks up from the ground, confused. "Paul?"

Cosima shrugs. "Tall. Muscles. Shirt about two sizes too small."

Chuckling, Delphine responds, "Paul. My boyfriend. Non, he is not here today."

What a shame, Cosima thinks. "Wanna get lunch with me?" Cosima's creative writing class doesn't even cross her mind.

* * *

Cosima and Delphine sit in a small café right off campus, their plates clear and stomachs full, already having discussed many topics – mostly school related – and exchanged numbers in case either one needs class help or updates in case of absences.

"My plan," Delphine continues, "is to apply to eight grad school programs. I already have them all picked out, and I'm working on my essays."

Cosima releases a breath and shakes her head. "So you're also hella smart and organized. You are totally not fair," she teases with a wide smile. She's teasing, but she means it. Delphine is an overwhelming combination of good looks, brains, and personality.

Delphine blushes and changes the subject. She isn't used to talking about herself, which she has done a lot with Cosima during this lunch. "Are you also applying to grad schools?"

Cosima's smile falters, and she looks down at her hands, toying with the many rings on her fingers. Then she takes a sip of her drink before speaking. "Uh, nah, not for me. I mean, I would totally love to go. I fucking love school, you know, but it's not really in the cards. I've gotta get a better job after graduation."

"Oh, where do you work?" Delphine asks.

"Uh, I work in the writing center some mornings and afternoons, and I bartend at a club down the street at night." Cosima's smile returns as she finally reestablishes eye contact with the blonde. "Oh, my god! You should totally come by one night. I can hook you up," she says with a wink, landing her hand on the blonde's forearm again across the table.

Delphine laughs, getting used to the electric feeling of the brunette's small hand on her arm. "Maybe I will."

Cosima's smile widens and she pulls her hand back.

"Do you ever get to sleep?" Delphine asks next.

Shrugging, Cosima responds, "Overrated. Besides, if I get too tired or stressed, I can always skip a class to take a pretty lady out to lunch."

Delphine's eyes widen at that. "Cosima! Are you supposed to be in class right now? I never would have-"

There it is again. Cosima's hand on her arm, and it stops her words, allowing the brunette to speak. "Relax, relax. It is so not a big deal. Plus, you are obvs more interesting than anything I'll learn in there."

* * *

A week passes before Delphine visits the club. During this time, the two see each other only in class, and they talk amiably there, Cosima always ready with compliments and small flirtations. Always the hand on her arm, and always the shiver up her spine. They talk about the books they're reading for class and, when they have enough time, about previous classes and professors they've taken. It's all quite easy, and Delphine finds herself looking forward to both Realism and Postmodern so that she can see the almost always smiling, boisterous woman that is Cosima Niehaus. She's all vibrant colors, jangling bracelets, and brightness, and in only a week Delphine has found herself craving the presence and conversation of her new friend.

So she convinces Paul to take her out and convinces him that they need to go to the club where Cosima bartends. Delphine cannot remember the last time she has been in a club or had any interest in going to one. She's not entirely sure what to wear, but she wants to look good. For her boyfriend, Paul, of course. She spends a long time showering and picking out an outfit, finally settling on a short black skirt and a simple white tank top with a black bra underneath. She works on her hair for several minutes, trying to make sure it looks perfect, and checks herself out briefly in the mirror, approving of the outfit and what it does for her legs.

When Paul picks her up, she loses her confidence. He kisses her quickly before saying, "Let's get going. I can't stay out long. I have an early practice in the morning." And he ushers her out the door and to the car, eyes not even lingering on her for more than a second.

So maybe I don't look as great as I thought, Delphine thinks. "You don't have to go, you know," she reminds him as she buckles her seatbelt.

Paul laughs and starts the car, heading towards the club. He settles his hand on her mostly bare thigh and responds, "Like I'm gonna let you go out to a club without me, babe. Guys will try anything. If I'm there, everyone will know you're taken."

She doesn't respond, grinding her teeth and looking out the car window. Paul has always been territorial, and this is something Delphine actually likes in a partner. She likes knowing that her boyfriend doesn't want other people to have her. But Paul's growing tendency to "let" Delphine do things is unnerving.

Delphine is not sure what she expected Cosima to be like in the club environment, but somehow she's surprised by what she sees. Cosima is behind the bar with a lanky guy who has dark hair and dark eye makeup on. So does Cosima, as always. She's dressed much differently than Delphine's seen her, wearing a tight, sleeveless, deep burgundy dress that accentuates her arms and breasts. She seems to move behind the bar effortlessly, and her rapport with the other bartender is fun to watch. They work in tandem, sliding drink bottles or soda cans across the bar to one another and laughing together. Delphine can't take her eyes off of them, though admittedly they linger mostly on Cosima's face and chest.

The club isn't too busy yet, though it's Friday night so Delphine assumes it'll pick up. The dance floor is about half full, and several other groups and a few loners stand around it or sit at the tables along the back wall opposite the bar. Delphine watches Cosima from afar until Paul grabs her hand and pulls her towards the bar, muttering, "Are we gonna get a drink or what?"

Cosima is whispering something into the other bartender's ear when she sees Delphine and Paul approaching the bar. She halts her words immediately, her throat going dry as she takes in the blonde's body. At first, she can't catch herself and doesn't try to hide it. Her eyes move from Delphine's face to her chest and then linger on her long legs. Cosima feels freer to check the blonde out in this environment, one of the only places she can allow herself to fully let go and do as she wishes, as long as it doesn't affect her job performance. Though there's hardly anything she can do to upset club owner (and occasional bartender) Felix, who also happens to be her best friend and roommate. Momentarily forgetting that she's even at work, Cosima fights her body's urge to check out Delphine, not wanting to appear creepy or weird, but Cosima loses this battle.

"Oi! Cos!"

Felix's voice pulls Cosima out of her daze, and her eyes snap over to him. Then they snap quickly back to Delphine, this time staying on her face, just in time for the couple to approach the bar.

Paul is oblivious to the fact that the bartender has been very obviously checking out his girlfriend, but Delphine isn't. She feels a blush creeping up her cheeks and smiles at Cosima, in part because she's happy to see her new friend and in part because now she feels like she _does_ look good. Delphine experiences no hesitation or weirdness at the fact that this attention is coming from a woman, specifically Cosima. When they reach the bar, Delphine releases Paul's hand and puts her elbows up on the bar, leaning close to say hi to Cosima.

Cosima is smiling so big she thinks she might hurt herself. She leans forward a little, too, returning the blonde's greeting. Her demeanor falters only when she watches Paul put his arm around Delphine's waist and try to pull her into him, and Cosima must mentally remind herself both that Delphine is taken and that Cosima herself is not looking for a serious relationship anyways.

Delphine introduces her classmate and her boyfriend, the latter offering the former a hand to shake as his eyes linger on her breasts. Both Cosima and Delphine notice this, and the latter deflates, suddenly very thirsty. "Sex on the beach?" she says to Cosima. It's not the first time Paul has blatantly ogled another woman. In fact, the longer they've been together, the more it seems to happen. Delphine has never been able to find the courage to confront him about it, soothing herself by assuring herself that looking is harmless. As long as he's not touching, it's okay, right? Somehow Paul's affront is doubly upsetting when his eyes are on Cosima.

The brunette smirks and nods before asking what Paul wants. After handing him a beer, she mixes Delphine's drink, taking her time to make sure it's a good one.

A large guy suddenly comes up to the bar, orders a round of beers, and claps Paul on the back. A moment later, Paul is muttering to Delphine, "I'm gonna go say hey to the guys real quick. I'll be right back."

As he walks away, Cosima places a cherry in Delphine's drink and pushes it across the bar to her, quickly distracting the blonde from her increasingly frustrated thoughts about her boyfriend.

"Merci," Delphine thanks her, taking a big gulp of the drink. "Très bien."

Felix deals with the next couple of customers that trickle up, and Cosima stays planted in front of Delphine. She leans on the bar again, placing her hand on the blonde's arm as she always does, and leans her face close to Delphine's, making eye contact with her. "You probs don't want to hear this from me, but you are so fucking gorgeous." While Cosima isn't totally inebriated since she's at work, she's still riding on the joints she and Felix shared earlier in the day. She feels totally coherent, albeit a bit looser than she might be otherwise. Mostly, she refuses to miss these opportunities to smoke when she's out of the house, not allowing herself to partake in that kind of recreation at home.

Delphine's blush is deep, and she doesn't even think of moving farther away, keeping her arms on the bar and her body leaning towards Cosima. Delphine fully realizes that she is playing into Cosima's flirtations, though she can't find anything wrong with it at the moment, nor can she pull her body away from the bartender. She takes another big sip of her drink, reveling in the compliment before she says, "No, no, it's nice to hear. Thank you. Paul does not always…" She trails off, stopping herself from saying more. She sips on her drink more, almost to the bottom already. Her school and application stress is combining with her insecurities to make her crave the alcohol.

Cosima keeps her hand on Delphine's arm and crinkles her brow. "What?" When Delphine is silent, only sipping her drink, Cosima presses, "What? He didn't tell you you look good tonight?"

A little laugh escapes Delphine's lips. "I think he looked at you longer than he did me."

Shaking her head, Cosima expels what sounds like an angry breath. "He's a fucking idiot," she says, squeezing Delphine's arm gently. "You look amazing, and you should be told that." Cosima stops herself, her unadulterated thoughts on Delphine's outfit marinating in her head as she bites her lip.

Delphine, still stone cold sober, is quietly questioning what she's doing but loving it all the same. Her eyes are on Cosima's lip between her teeth, and she finds herself mimicking the gesture. "I guess you'll just have to tell me then," she says.

Before Cosima can respond, Paul returns, setting his beer down on the counter and wrapping an arm around Delphine. Cosima distances herself, taking a few steps down the bar to serve another customer. While wiping down the bar, she doesn't even pretend she's not listening to their conversation.

"Come on, let's dance," Delphine says.

"I don't dance," Paul responds. "You know that."

"Just for one song?"

"I said no," he says, raising his voice a little.

Then there's silence, but Delphine and Paul linger at the bar. Cosima replenishes their drinks after a few minutes, and many more people come into the club. For a moment, Cosima totally loses sight of Delphine as she hurries to make drinks for a huge group. Then most of them migrate to the dance floor, and she sees that the couple hasn't moved. Paul is alternating between going to say hi to his buddies and returning for more beers and to kiss his girlfriend. Cosima could swear that every time he comes back, his hands go lower on her back or higher on her leg. She doesn't attempt to make conversation with Delphine while Paul is there, busying herself with drinks and tabs. They steal brief moments when he leaves, bodies attracting like magnets, but he always comes back.

After a little while, Delphine watches a petite, fashionably dressed blonde walk up to the bar. She's at the bar alone but seems to have just left a group of friends that are on the dance floor. Felix offers to make her a drink, and she says she'll wait for Cosima. Delphine tries to look like she's not paying attention, instead pretending to listen to Paul recount the phenomenal football story the guys just told him.

When Cosima spots Shay, she smiles and walks over, just a couple of feet away from Delphine and Paul. Cosima presses her body against the bar, and Shay leans her body almost all the way across the bar, whispering something in Cosima's ear. Then she kisses the brunette's cheek, planting herself back on the ground firmly. Cosima then turns and mixes a drink, her body swaying slightly to the club music, a natural rhythm emanating from her that has Delphine transfixed. When she has finished the drink, she returns to Shay with another smile and a mischievous sparkle in her eye. Shay leans her body over the bar again. Their hands meet in the drink exchange, and Shay presses her lips to Cosima's in a hard kiss. Cosima returns the kiss fervently, using her free hand to pull Shay closer by her neck. The kiss lasts for several seconds before Cosima gently pushes Shay away. Shay whispers in Cosima's ear again before taking her drink to the dance floor with a wink.

About ten minutes later, Paul has disappeared again, so Cosima makes her way over to Delphine, who looks upset. "Hey, you okay?" Cosima asks, genuine concern painted all over her face.

"Great," Delphine answers sarcastically.

"Did something happen?"

"Nothing other than my boyfriend leering at you and that girl," Delphine responds, accepting the fresh drink that Cosima has brought her.

Paul had, indeed, been staring and making rather inappropriate comments when he saw Cosima and Shay kissing. Now he's back with his buddies, probably telling them about it. Delphine could almost laugh at the fact that he won't let her go to a club alone, but then he keeps ditching her while here.

Cosima sighs, mixing a drink for a customer while she talks. "You really should dump that motherfucker."

Delphine laughs. "You just met him."

"Yup," Cosima says, handing the drink off to a man and entering it on his tab. Then she places herself directly in front of Delphine again, supporting her weight with her hands on the bar. "And in the hour that you've been here, I've learned that he can't keep his eyes to himself and that he doesn't appreciate what a fucking awesome girlfriend he has."

Scoffing, Delphine returns, "Are you any better? You've been checking me out all night when, clearly, you're… involved." Delphine waves her hand in the direction she and Shay had been kissing previously.

Cosima waves her hands in front of her. "No no no. I'm not involved with anyone. Shay's a friend."

"Looks like a pretty good friend," Delphine responds.

Cosima expels an exasperated breath, getting worked up for no reason other than she doesn't want to see Delphine feeling badly about herself. She shouldn't keep talking because they've only been friends – if that's what they are – for a little over a week, but the valve has opened, and there is no filter. "So? The point is I'm not with anyone so I can look at anyone I want, kiss anyone I want, fuck anyone I want. He can't. And believe me, if you were _my_ girlfriend, you wouldn't be sitting here alone at the bar feeling insecure about yourself." Cosima isn't sure where that assertion came from, though she feels it completely.

They stare at each other for a few seconds before Paul makes another grand return, and Cosima leaves to tend to some waiting customers.

Business picks up considerably, and a few minutes later Cosima looks up to see that Paul and Delphine have left, Felix closing their tab since Cosima has been so busy. It's almost five in the morning before Cosima leaves the club and gets home to shower and get in bed, knowing that she will undoubtedly be woken up in just a couple of hours by the pitter patter of little feet.

* * *

"What's up with blondie?" Felix asks the next night from behind the bar.

"Who?" Cosima plays dumb. She's been feeling bad about how she spoke to Delphine. While seeing anyone being disrespected or ignored by a significant other grinds her gears, Cosima found it especially aggravating when Delphine was the one being hurt and when it was so obviously affecting her deeply. Still, she doesn't know this woman well enough to be judging her relationship on one night, and she feels deep down that she may have crossed a line.

Felix rolls his eyes dramatically, folding his arms over the front of his black, leather vest. "Out with it, Cos."

Cosima smiles as she expertly mixes a drink without even thinking about it. "There's nothing to tell, Fe. We have a couple of classes together, and we had lunch once. She's a friend, maybe even just an acquaintance."

"And you like her," Felix states. Felix has always been able to read Cosima exceptionally well, ever since the two of them struck up a friendship at their San Francisco middle school. He is the only person she can't bullshit, which is sometimes comforting and sometimes annoying as hell.

Rolling her eyes, Cosima loses her smile and shakes her head. "No, Felix. One hundred percent platonic. She has a boyfriend anyways."

"Yeah, real piece of work, that one," he mutters.

"How would you know?"

Felix serves a drink, opening a new tab on the computer in front of him. "Please," he says. "He was staring at your tits the whole time they were here. Almost came undone right in the middle of my club when you kissed Shay."

"He's an asshole," Cosima agrees.

They work silently for a few minutes, and then Cosima speaks again in a sort of dreamy voice, and she's wearing a smirk. "She is, like, insanely hot though, right? And smart, man. I mean, some of the shit she says in class I totally disagree with, but her mind is wicked. And she's-"

Felix cuts her off by saying, "Alright, alright, we get it. You _don't_ have a crush on her." When Cosima glares at him, he winks back.

* * *

Cosima is so exhausted by the time Tuesday rolls around that she skips classes altogether. On Thursday, after it's been almost a week since she saw Delphine at the club, she's still just as exhausted but makes herself go to classes. When she walks into Realism thirty seconds before class starts, she sits next to Delphine and immediately crosses her arms on the table and plants her head on them, only lifting it slightly throughout the class to contribute what she can or listen to other people's comments.

Delphine watches her throughout the class, concerned. As they're leaving Realism and heading to Postmodern, Delphine grabs Cosima's hand to get her attention. "Hey, are you doing okay?"

Stifling a yawn, Cosima nods her head. "I'm fine, just tired. I haven't been able to sleep more than a couple hours a night so far this semester, and it's all catching up to me. I'm just beat."

Delphine pulls on her hand, stopping them in the middle of the hallway. With her free hand, she feels Cosima's forehead. "Cosima, that is really not healthy. You need to sleep. Your immune system is going to weaken, and you'll get sick. You probably already are."

Cosima pulls Delphine's hand away from her forehead and smiles a little. "You don't have to mother me. I'm okay. I'm gonna have to stock up on energy drinks or something cause there's no way for me to get more sleep."

"Non? What's keeping you up?" Delphine asks, allowing them to stay planted in the hallway for a few more minutes before class begins.

"Just life. If I'm not in class or doing schoolwork, I'm working at the club. If I'm not at the club, I'm working in the writing center. If I'm not doing that, I'm-" She stops herself and shakes her head.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just other responsibilities," Cosima finishes. Wanting to get off the subject, she says tentatively, "Hey, I'm sorry about the other night. I didn't mean to be rude or invasive or whatever. It's your life, your relationship. I get that." Realizing that their hands are still connected, Cosima reluctantly pulls hers away.

Delphine shakes her head and waves her hand dismissively. "Cosima, it's fine. I know that Paul and I are not perfect together, but nobody is. I like to keep my expectations realistic."

Cosima tries to bite her tongue but after a second, she can't. Never has been able to. "Last thing I'll say about it, I swear," she prefaces. "And I realize I barely know you at this point, and you probably have a good idea of what you're looking for in a relationship. But I don't think that wanting your partner to appreciate you is an unrealistic expectation."

Delphine is silent for many seconds before she says, "Come on, let's get to class." She knows Cosima is right. That isn't an unrealistic expectation, but for some reason it feels like one. Paul really isn't a bad guy. They have their issues, but doesn't everybody? After almost two years together, shouldn't it be expected that some of the wonder and fun and compliments will decrease in number or fade out? The honeymoon phase can't last forever.

They have a few minutes to chat before Postmodern begins. Again, Cosima folds her arms on the desk and rests her head on them, this time facing Delphine, who is saying, "I guess since you are so busy, we won't ever be able to hang out outside of class, huh?"

Cosima smiles mischievously. "We could always skip class. Or you can just come visit me at the club. During the week, it's not so busy, and I can get your cover waived and sneak you some free drinks," she says, raising her eyebrows.

Laughing, Delphine responds, "Oui, I could. That wouldn't get you in trouble with your boss?"

"Nah," Cosima says, shaking her head against her arms. "We're best friends and roommates. He doesn't care as long as I'm pouring them. Besides, guys will probably be fighting to buy you drinks so we'll still get _some_ money," she finishes with her eyes shining.

Delphine chuckles again, and just before she's about to respond she hears Cosima's phone vibrate and watches the brunette pull it from her pocket and read something that sends her jumping from her chair.

"Shit," Cosima curses loudly, not even aware of the other students in the room. "Sorry, I've gotta go. Emergency. I'll see you next week, Delphine." Then she's walking quickly out of the classroom.


	2. What the Hell Is This?

**Hey guys. Thanks so much to everyone who has read and reviewed the first chapter of this story! I appreciate it so much. I apologize for the delay in getting Chapter 2 up. I was busy getting my ass kicked by the end of the semester. But here you go. I'll get the next one up ASAP, and please feel free to review and let me know what you think! Happy holidays to everyone celebrating.**

* * *

Delphine spends the rest of Postmodern worrying about Cosima, both because of her clear exhaustion levels and because of the ominous text that sent her flying from the room. She thinks about texting her to see if she's okay but stops, reminding herself that they only exchanged numbers for class and school purposes. As day turns into night, Delphine even contemplates stopping by the club to check on the brunette. She scolds herself for this and, ultimately, decides against it. Unable to stop her mind from dwelling on her concern for Cosima, Delphine spends her dinner with Paul and a few hours of homework sufficiently distracted.

At 11 o'clock, Delphine is unable to stop herself from sending a simple text, figuring that Cosima probably won't see it since she's at work. But the brunette's response comes almost immediately.

Delphine: Hey, are you ok?

Cosima: Totes fine, gorgeous. Thanks for checking on me.

Delphine smiles at her phone, something she's only ever made fun of other people for doing.

Delphine: You sure? I could come by the club to cheer you up.

Cosima: Didn't make it into work.

A few seconds pass before Cosima's next text comes through.

Cosima: Tomorrow night? We'll be busy, but you can keep me company if you want.

Delphine: I'll be there. Get some sleep, mon amie.

Delphine doesn't even think about it before she sends that last text. Regardless of what Cosima says, Delphine knows she's stressed. While she can't really imagine what else the brunette has on her plate in addition to her already busy schedule of school and work, she knows there's something. She needs to see Cosima before next week, if only to confirm that she really is okay and isn't working herself silly. The level of protection and concern she's feeling for her new friend does not go unnoticed by Delphine. While it is true that she is protective of people she loves, she's never felt this deep of a need to make sure a friend is okay after knowing them for so short a time.

Delphine plans to get to the club early the next night, and she plans to go alone. Only one of those plans works out. Paul insists on taking her out to dinner and a movie, and she acquiesces, staying out with him until almost midnight. When he drops her off at her apartment, she tells him she's really tired and just wants to go to sleep, stopping his already heavy advances in their tracks. She rushes inside to change her clothes and freshen up, putting on a fully sleeved, lacy, navy blue dress that, again, shows off her legs really well. Her heels are black, and she touches up her makeup, calling herself a fool the entire time. Paul isn't even going out with her this time, so there's no reason she should be trying to look good or impress anyone. But on the inside, she is hoping to see the same look in Cosima's eyes that she saw last week.

Cosima has been busy all night, the Friday night crowd getting started earlier than usual. Tonight she has both Felix and another bartender, Cal, helping her out. Cal is wildly popular with the ladies, so a lot of them wait to be served by him, probably entertaining some hopeless thoughts about hooking up with a happily married man. Cosima is thankful to have another set of hands behind the bar, and as the clock hits half past midnight, the bar slows down a bit. Most people are dancing, and every few minutes some people will wander up for fresh drinks. Cosima is handing a beer to a woman when she spots Delphine walking towards the bar, and it's like she's never seen her before. Her eyes linger everywhere they have before, and she is almost overwhelmed with how much this woman affects her. She wonders briefly if she should continue forming a friendship with Delphine, knowing that eventually she'll fuck it up by pressing past harmless flirtations. But just as fast, Cosima pushes this thought out, her body taking full control as she leans against the bar where Delphine is approaching, eyes locking with the blonde's.

Delphine is pleased. All of the touching up and time she spent picking a dress suddenly feels worth it as she watches Cosima checking her out. It's wrong, and she shouldn't like it, but she does. Before she knows it, she's doing the same thing, albeit less obviously, appreciating Cosima's figure in her tribal looking crop top and dark skirt, eyes lingering on her stomach and breasts. Cosima does look like she got a little more sleep last night, though her eyes still express a dull exhaustion.

"No Paul?" Cosima asks in greeting, craning her neck to look behind Delphine.

Delphine shakes her head. "I wanted to come alone to keep you company."

Cosima smiles and responds, "I'm not complaining. It's good to see you. It's been a long day."

Delphine sits at the bar and leans forward, resting the side of her head in her palm with her elbow on the bar. "Oui? I am sorry. You can sleep in tomorrow, non?"

"I wish," Cosima responds. "I'll probably leave here at 3 or 4, and I have to go to a soccer game at 8."

Before Delphine can respond, the petite blonde that she recognizes as Shay draws up right next to her and leans towards Cosima. She leans to kiss the brunette on the cheek and whisper in her ear, and Cosima starts making her a drink.

"How's Julian doing?" Shay asks, looking totally innocent and beautiful and nice as far as Delphine can tell, which she wishes wasn't true.

Delphine watches Cosima, a little smile appearing on her face as she puts a lime in the drink. She slides it into Shay's hands and says, "Ah, he's doing okay. He's tough. Once he got through the x-rays and got some pain medicine, he was just excited to pick a color for his cast." She chuckles.

Shay laughs as well, picking up her drink and taking a small sip. "Well give him a hug for me."

Cosima smiles in response as Shay walks away. Suddenly Cosima is very nervous, fiddling with the rings on her fingers and seeking something to keep her hands busy. So she asks Delphine, "Sex on the beach?"

"Sure," is the response she gets from the blonde. Delphine watches Cosima as she mixes her drink, contemplating whether or not to ask the question that's on her mind. Ultimately, she waits until Cosima slides her drink to her and asks curiously, "Who's Julian?"

Cosima's heart rate picks up, but she smiles. She's proud of Julian. She's just gotten used to the judgmental reactions from many people when they find out about him. Cosima doesn't generally try to hide him. He is her complete joy. She just doesn't want to see the look she thinks she will on Delphine's face. Certainly if Delphine finds out the whole story about who Cosima used to be, she'll run for the hills. Cosima takes a deep breath and returns to her previous position leaning against the bar in front of Delphine after making sure no other customers are trying to get her attention. "He's my son," Cosima finally says. She watches Delphine's face, expecting to see judgment or dramatic surprise.

Delphine only smiles. This time, she's the one who reaches across the bar, placing her hand on Cosima's forearm to try to communicate that she doesn't have to be nervous. "How old is he?" Delphine asks with what appears to be a genuinely interested smile. This would certainly contribute to Cosima's exhaustion, and though it's not what Delphine expected, her urge to get to know this woman better hasn't diminished.

Cosima smiles when she feels Delphine's hand on her arm, her body warming and her nerves dissipating with the simple gesture. "He's four," Cosima responds, launching into a long ramble. "I was seventeen and totally not ready for a baby, but I really wouldn't change anything. He's the most amazing person ever. I have so much fun with him. He is a huge ball of energy though. Uh, yesterday the text I got in class was from Shay. She works at his daycare, and apparently another little boy pushed him off the top of the slide when he was about to go down, and he fell and broke his arm. I was sufficiently freaked out. He's never gotten hurt that bad before. But uh, like I said, he's doing okay now. He keeps saying he wants me to draw some cool pictures on his cast for him." Cosima chuckles, nerves still present even if they have eased up a bit.

Delphine laughs and absentmindedly rubs her thumb back and forth on Cosima's arm. "Poor little guy," she says. "I'm glad he is okay."

Swallowing at the feeling of the blonde's thumb moving on her arm, Cosima smiles. "But yeah, that's why I have to be up early. He's on a youth soccer team, and he's wicked good. Of course he can't really play with his arm in a cast, but I kind of coach his team so we still have to be there."

Delphine shakes her head and sips her drink. "You know, you are really incredible, Cosima."

"Nah," the brunette brushes off, looking down. "I'm just trying to do my best and get through school and support my guy. I want everything for him."

"Do your parents help you a lot?" Delphine asks.

Spotting a customer walking up to the bar, Cosima doesn't miss an opportunity to evade that question, pulling her arm away from Delphine and whispering, "Ah, a tale for another time. I'll be right back."

* * *

A couple of hours later, Delphine is still seated at the bar, only having gotten up a couple times to go to the bathroom since she's consumed several drinks. Things have been busy, but another lull rolls around, and Cosima heads back towards Delphine. The two have gotten to chat a lot in the last couple hours, Cosima telling more stories about Julian and Delphine asking only surface questions. What color did he pick for his cast? What stories does he like to read? Truthfully, she's interested in anything Cosima wants to tell her, but she doesn't want to push for any details she's not willing or able to share. Also, it's ridiculously adorable how much Cosima's face lights up each time she talks about her son.

When Cosima reaches Delphine again, she brings a cup of water for her and feels an urge to apologize, as has been a habit of hers for most of her life. "Sorry if I'm talking too much about Julian. I'm not trying to monopolize the conversation or anything. People our age usually get annoyed when I talk about him too much, so I don't want to make that mistake with you."

Delphine shakes her head. She's feeling a good buzz from the alcohol she's had, but she's definitely not drunk. She accepts the water and takes a big sip. "I am not at all annoyed, Cosima. I am just really impressed with how much you're juggling, and I think it's adorable that you want to talk about him." She pauses and takes another long sip. "But I am curious. Did you ever play soccer? You said you coach his team."

Cosima smiles, believing that Delphine hasn't minded her kid talk and relieved by that belief. Then she's nodding her head. "Yeah, I played all my life actually, until I got pregnant."

"I bet you were fast," Delphine finds herself saying, resting her chin in her hand and leaning closer to Cosima, eyes sparkling.

There is a sultry undertone in Delphine's voice that immediately makes Cosima's throat go dry and propels her body forward. There's nothing about their conversation that should be making her feel so hot. "Still am," Cosima whispers.

Delphine laughs, feeling both silly and very overheated.

The remainder of the night is a bit of a blur for Delphine. She knows she must have had more drinks, and she remembers talking more about soccer and then being in Cosima's car and then at her own apartment and then a strange new apartment. She tries to remember more as she wakes up in an unfamiliar bed, but her head is pounding and she's still a little groggy since it's only been a few hours since she crashed. It is hard to keep her eyes open, so she closes them. A few minutes later, she hears a whisper, and her eyes snap open.

With his good arm and his cast crossed on the edge of the bed, Julian Niehaus stares at the strange lady in his mother's bed. When she opens her eyes, he jumps. Then he smiles, the same megawatt smile she's seen on Cosima's face so many times recently. His hair is dark brown and shaggy, eyes a deep blue color. He's dressed in a green soccer uniform. "Are you my mom's new friend?" he whispers again.

Delphine blinks and, after several seconds, realizes that this must be Cosima's son. Though her head is pounding, she smiles back, aware that the boy's smile is just as infectious as his mom's. "Yes, I am her new friend. My name is Delphine," she whispers back.

"I'm Julian Charles Niehaus. It's nice to meet you," Julian responds, still whispering.

Chuckling a little, Delphine whispers, "Nice to meet you, too, Julian."

Cosima walks into the room with her brow furrowed, and she whispers as well. "Julian, come in here and eat your breakfast. I told you not to wake Delphine or Uncle Felix." Cosima's already dressed for the day, but she looks different than Delphine's ever seen her, dressed to coach in soccer shorts and a green t-shirt that declares her coach of the Dinos.

Julian whispers a goodbye and follows his mom out of the room, sitting down at the table to eat his cereal.

Cosima returns to her bedroom a minute later with a glass of water and some Aspirin. She sets them on the nightstand and looks at Delphine, who she thinks looks adorable having just woken up. The blonde's hair is all messed up in the best way. "Hey, sorry about that. Take this medicine, drink some water, and get some more sleep. We have to leave for the game soon, but we'll be back in, like, an hour."

Delphine sits up in the bed, wiping her eyes. She reaches for the water and takes the pills and several more sips before speaking. "How did I end up sleeping here?" she asks.

"Ah, yeah well you were pretty drunk when we were leaving the club, and I didn't think it would be safe for you to drive. I got your address out of you and took you home, but then you started crying and said you wanted to have a sleepover and come to the soccer game. So you got some clothes, and we came here. I didn't want to upset you anymore. I slept on the couch," Cosima explains.

"The game!" Delphine exclaims, as if she's just remembering it even though there are clues all around her. "When do you have to leave?"

"In about thirty minutes."

Delphine drinks more water and says, "Can I go?"

Exactly twenty-nine minutes later, Delphine comes out of Cosima's bathroom, having showered and dressed in the jeans and t-shirt she'd grabbed at her apartment sometime in the middle of the night. "One minute to spare," she says, glancing at her watch as she enters the living room.

Cosima and Julian are both on the couch, and _Beetlejuice_ is playing on the television. Suddenly "Day O" begins, and Julian is on his feet, saying the words and dancing. Cosima laughs and stands as well, walking over to Delphine. "I'm impressed," she whispers, keeping her eyes on her son's amusing dance.

Delphine smiles, also watching Julian. Then she looks at Cosima. "Well I know I look terrible, but how could I miss an opportunity to see you coaching a bunch of three and four year olds?"

Cosima turns her head to Delphine, deliberately looking at her whole body and then making eye contact with the blonde. "You look gorgeous. You always do."

They maintain eye contact for several seconds, and then Cosima feels her arm being tugged. "Mom, come on! We have to go. It's 7:30. We're gonna be late."

"Okay, okay," Cosima responds. She turns the television off and glances at Delphine with an amused smile. "He keeps me in line."

Julian turns to Delphine as well and cups his hand around his mouth like he's telling her a secret. "Mommy's always late."

They get there on time, Cosima leading them over to the small team bench on the edge of the very tiny soccer field. The goals are also tiny. Julian sits down on the edge of the bench. "You can sit with me, Delphine," he says, grabbing the blonde's hand and pulling her to sit next to him. "I can't play today cause I broke my arm." He holds up his cast. "I got green to match our soccer jerseys. Last week I scored two goals."

Delphine looks utterly amused, and Cosima mouths a "sorry" to her, which is waved off. While Delphine listens intently to Julian tell the story of breaking his arm, she sends several glances towards Cosima, who is unsuccessfully trying to wrangle the kids over to the bench. #3 is hungry and wants her mom to get her a snack or she'll refuse to play. #8 and #5 are running around the middle of the field in dizzying circles. Only #6 obediently joins Julian on the bench.

Finally, Cosima is able to get all the kids over to the bench, and they start the game against the red team.

The combination of Julian commentating the game and Cosima coaching is truly astounding. The little boy is both amusing and heartwarming. He says his mom is the best coach because she's the nicest and also brings the best after-game snacks.

Cosima is also both amusing and endearing. When the kids kick the ball out of bounds and try to keep running with it, she blows a whistle and says, "Red light!" Upon hearing this, the kids immediately stop in their tracks and wait for Cosima or the red coach to retrieve the ball. Cosima high fives the kids when they score or assist or do nothing at all, regardless of which team they're on. At one point, #5 kicks the ball a few feet and then picks it up and starts running towards the goal. Cosima laughs and blows her whistle. "Red light, Grayson. Can't use your hands, remember, buddy?"

"He always does that," Julian whispers to Delphine, who laughs. Later he says, "How do you know my mom?"

"I go to school with her," Delphine responds.

Julian nods. "Mommy's very smart. One day maybe she'll write a book and get rich. Then we can have a house with a pool and a soccer field and a dog." He takes a quick breath. "Hey, do you wanna sign my cast when we get home? Mommy's gonna draw me a dinosaur and a Frankenstein and a soccer ball."

Delphine has the best time. She is amazed by Julian's energy level and laughs when he rambles and abruptly changes topics, thinking how very alike he is to Cosima. Delphine still feels slightly crazy, going to the club last night, drinking, and demanding she be able to come to the soccer game. She's still embarrassed about the crying, but she can't bring herself to regret any of those actions or her lack of sleep. She loves seeing all the sides of Cosima: student, bartender, coach. She wonders how many other sides there are and if she'll ever get to see them all. She wants to.

* * *

"You are welcome to stay however long. Just let me know when to take you to your car," Cosima says as they walk into her apartment. "I don't want you to think I'm holding you hostage or anything. Saturdays are usually pretty kid-focused around here."

"Well I can't miss signing Julian's cast," Delphine responds, smiling big at Cosima.

For the next little bit, Cosima decorates Julian's cast. Everything she draws looks amazing, and when Delphine receives the sharpie she doesn't dare to write anything but her name.

The day is kid-focused indeed, but Delphine can't bring herself to leave. Ultimately, she decides to just have Cosima bring her to her car when she goes to work in the evening. They watch the rest of _Beetlejuice_ , and then they play Go Fish and put together a shark puzzle. She comments to Delphine, "He'd watch TV all day if I'd let him, but I really try to limit that." Julian reads to Delphine from a children's book. He says most of his friends can't read yet, but they'll get there, and that his mom just wanted to teach him early. They play Operation, and Delphine is quickly introduced to Felix when he leaves for the club in the afternoon. They eat lunch and dinner together and spend some time outside at the apartment complex's playground. There are many things Julian can't do with his arm, and Cosima tells him not to run too fast and to be very careful. Most of the time, he just runs back and forth on the swinging bridge. Then they go to the humane society, a weekly trip for the Niehaus family, and Julian picks out the dogs he would get if he was allowed to have a dog.

Delphine meets someone called Scott, who she would have met the night before had she been sober, when he comes over to look after Julian, something he regularly does when the brunette has to work in the evenings. Scott doesn't mind being up and driving home at late hours, and Julian seems to love him. He has Scott sign his cast.

When they get to the club's nearly empty parking lot, Cosima, dressed in yet another flattering dress, walks Delphine over to her car. "Thanks for hanging out with us today," she says with a smile, twirling her rings around her fingers. "I know it was probably pretty lame for you, but we had fun. Julian really likes you."

"Not lame at all," Delphine assures her, leaning against the driver side door. "I had fun, too. He seems like such a great kid, Cosima. I don't know how you do it all." When the brunette starts shaking her head, Delphine grabs one of her hands and continues, "No, seriously. You are amazing. You should be proud of yourself." She smiles. "I feel very fortunate to be your new friend, as Julian called me."

Cosima laughs and blushes. "Thanks, Delphine."

Still holding one of Cosima's hands, Delphine leans forward and kisses each of the brunette's cheeks, lingering for a couple seconds longer than she intended. "Bye, Cosima. I'll see you in class."

Cosima is able to mutter a response but is mostly frozen as the blonde gets in her car and drives away, her mind still stuck in the moment when those lips were pressed against her cheeks. Logically, she knows it's a European thing and not something she should dwell on. But it felt like so much more.

The last twenty-four hours had gone by so quickly, and Cosima doesn't know what to make of it. Seeing Delphine accept her son and be willing to spend time with him was shocking and delightful, simply because so few people in her life had been willing to do so. But another part of her, the simultaneously hopeful and hopeless part, also feels more attracted to Delphine than she's ever been to anyone after seeing her interactions with Julian. It's not that she's the first one to take an interest in him; it's something else. Shay, who has consistently expressed interest in forming a relationship with Cosima, is great with Julian. But Delphine is different.

Cosima spends the first half of her night behind the bar dwelling on all the things she likes about Delphine and the second half berating herself for getting so caught up in a woman, especially one who is committed to someone else. By the end of the night, she knows she needs a distraction.

After closing the bar, Cosima goes home with Shay. The two have been friends since Julian started daycare, and they've made out many times, Shay always instigating flirtations and trying to push the boundaries. Cosima always stops it before it goes too far, not wanting to give Shay the wrong idea. The brunette, while she loves Shay in a way, does not want to be in a relationship with her. She makes that clear again to the blonde before agreeing to go home with her. When Cosima thinks Shay understands that this is just a one-time thing, no feelings whatsoever, she fucks her, releasing all of her pent-up frustrations. She leaves right after, rushing home to relieve Scott, shower, and try to sleep a little before Julian wakes up.

* * *

A couple of hours later, after making Julian's breakfast for him, Cosima lays in bed while he eats right outside her bedroom door at the table. She grabs her phone, checking it for the first time since the middle of the night. When she sees the text waiting for her, she rubs her eyes and mutters, "Fuck."

Shay: That was amazing, baby. Can't wait to do it again.

Cosima doesn't respond to Shay, instead typing a new message to Delphine, who she misses after less than twenty-four hours apart.

Cosima: Work sucks without you :(

Delphine: Guess I'll have to spend more time there, huh? ;)

Cosima smiles, responding and trying to focus on her new friendship with Delphine and not the one she has potentially ruined with Shay. Once the day gets started, there's no time to worry about either. She juggles homework and spending time with Julian, completely ignoring her phone for the rest of the day and missing the rest of the texts and missed calls from Shay. When she finally does see them, she still doesn't respond.

* * *

Cosima and Delphine barely talk in class on Tuesday, since the former somehow manages to be late to both classes. That night, a slow one at the club, Delphine shows up and sits at the bar reading Mark Twain's _Pudd'nhead Wilson_ for Realism when the two aren't talking. Cosima is pleasantly surprised to see her there until she sees Shay approaching the bar.

"Fuck," Cosima mutters, looking down at the bar and closing her eyes momentarily.

"What?" Delphine asks, looking up from _Pudd'nhead._

"You have some fucking nerve," Shay says angrily as she reaches the bar, standing just a few inches away from Delphine.

Cosima opens her eyes and looks at Shay apologetically. "Shay, please just lis-"

"Oh, now you want me to listen? You've been ignoring my calls and texts for three fucking days, and now you have something to say?" Shay scoffs. "No, Cosima. How about you listen? You know how I feel about you. You've always known. And up until now, I've been fine putting up with just flirting and kissing and not having anything real. I don't _need_ a relationship. But Jesus Christ, Cosima. The least you could do after three years of friendship is respond to me or acknowledge my existence after fucking me. It's common fucking decency."

Cosima reaches for Shay's hand on the bar, but the blonde jerks it away. "Shay, I know I fucked up," she says. "I am so, so sorry for ignoring your texts and calls. I just freaked out, and then I got busy, and I'm really sorry. That was shitty of me." Cosima is painfully aware that Delphine is listening to this, but it's somehow not affecting her words. Shay is a really good friend, and regardless of what's happened she doesn't want to lose her. "Look, I told you the other night that I didn't want it to mean anything and that it was a one-time thing, okay? That doesn't excuse my ignoring you, but that hasn't changed. Your messages were very relationship-y, and I didn't know how to respond. You know how weird I am about that shit." Cosima takes a deep breath. "That doesn't change that I've been a shit friend the last few days, and I'm sorry. I should have responded to you, and it'll never happen again, okay? Please forgive me."

Shay still isn't happy, but she's softened. She offers her hand to Cosima, who takes it. "You're not off the hook yet," Shay mutters.

Cosima gives her a soft, apologetic smile. "I know I'm not. I'll make it up to you, I swear."

When Shay is gone, Cosima's face turns red, and she says to Delphine, "I'm really sorry you had to witness that." She clears her throat as she wipes down the bar. "If you think I'm a terrible person now, I totally understand."

Delphine's eyes are still wide from the interaction she just watched, but she manages to shake her head. "I do not think you are a terrible person, Cosima." A few minutes later, after Cosima serves some customers, Delphine says, "So you two…" She trails off.

Cosima rests her head in her hands with her elbows on the bar in front of Delphine. "I fucked up. I let things go too far, and I shouldn't have. And then I freaked out. I love Shay, but not…like that." She shakes her head inside her hands, and for a second it looks like she'll cry. "I was just having a bad night, and I wanted to feel good, but now I'm the asshole."

"Everybody makes mistakes, Cosima," Delphine says. She wants to comfort her friend, so she pushes the feelings of something similar to jealousy to the back of her mind. It can't actually be jealousy because she's with Paul, and she's only ever been with men, but it feels the same. "You are not a bad person."

Cosima looks at her with a small smile. "You barely know me."

Delphine smiles. "But I can already tell that."

"I should know by now that doing something just because it feels good at the time doesn't work for me." Cosima stands up straight and pushes her glasses up. "I should have gone straight home to Julian. I was being selfish."

Delphine places her hand on Cosima's arm on the bar. "It's okay to do something for yourself every now and then, Cosima. Maybe it won't always be the right thing, but you deserve to be selfish sometimes. Being a mom doesn't mean you give up who you are or what you want."

Cosima leans closer, placing her hand over Delphine's on her arm.

"So what do you want?" Delphine whispers, unsure why her voice sounds so breathy all of a sudden.

Before Cosima can answer, they are interrupted by Paul's deep voice coming from behind Delphine.

"What the hell is this?"


	3. Stepping Over the Line

**A bit of a shorter chapter, but felt like the right spot to end and wanted to give you guys something. I have a bit more time on my hands now so hopefully I can churn some chapters out more quickly. Thanks for reading!**

* * *

"What the hell is this?"

Cosima sees him first, and she is livid. Not because she and Delphine were maybe, possibly about to have a moment. And not just because she thinks he's a dick and Delphine deserves better, true as that may be. No, Cosima is livid because of the woman standing next to Paul. She's a tall blonde with bright eyes, dressed in a slinky hot pink dress and what look like painfully high heels. She's shamelessly holding hands with Paul and trying to get closer to him, pushing her body into his side. Cosima feels like she's going to jump across the bar at Paul. She puts distance between herself and Delphine, logically aware that Delphine has asked her not to meddle but feeling like she has no choice.

When Delphine turns, Paul lets go of the blonde's hand and lightly pushes her farther away from him, though Delphine has already seen. All her confidence, all her self-esteem falls away from her as she eyes the woman her boyfriend has brought here. But she only does so for a second before her nerves take over and she registers Paul's words, automatically feeling like she's done something wrong. She knows that Cosima has been flirting with her, and maybe she flirts back, but surely it isn't that obvious. Paul is probably just pissed that she is out alone where other men can prey on her. Delphine tries to think of an explanation that won't make him mad.

"I said: What the hell is this?" Paul repeats, this time motioning between Cosima and Delphine.

Cosima furrows her brow and presses her body against the bar she's still itching to climb. "Uh, how about what the hell is this?" she responds, flailing an arm out to signal towards the woman in the hot pink dress. That he would have the audacity to openly cheat on Delphine and then accuse her of anything is preposterous to Cosima.

Paul levels his eyes at Cosima and steps close to the bar, right next to Delphine. "None of your fucking business. I'm talking to my girlfriend."

"Oh, that's interesting, considering you just waltzed in here with some skank on your arm," Cosima responds. Darting a look over to the blonde, she adds, "No offense."

"Again: none of your fucking business. Get out of my face. Just because you wish you were fucking _my_ girlfriend doesn't give you a right to have an opinion about us."

"I swear to fu-" Cosima starts, beginning to walk out from behind the bar.

She's stopped when Delphine slaps her hand on the bar hard and says, "Stop it, Cosima. It's none of your business."

Paul shoots a victorious look at Cosima and sidles up next to Delphine. "Exactly."

Cosima stops, but she refuses to look away from them. Even when a customer comes up to the bar trying to get her attention, her eyes stay glued on the couple. Surely Delphine is about to dump him, yell at him, slap him, do something that indicates she isn't going to take this laying down. Cosima balls her fists at her sides, trying her hardest to hold her anger in since Delphine told her to.

"I'm sorry I came out without you," Delphine finally says, refusing to make eye contact with anyone and, instead, staring meekly at her hands on the bar. "Cosima and I were just talking. That's all."

"Well now you're not," Paul says, placing a hand on Delphine's back and glaring at Cosima simultaneously. Then he looks back at Delphine, giving the girl in the pink dress a nod that indicates she should get lost. "Let's go. You shouldn't be coming out by yourself. This girl's a bad influence."

"Excuse me?" Cosima says, taking a few steps forward and leaning over the bar again.

Delphine's head snaps up to look at the shorter woman, both looking angry. "Stop it. I told you this isn't your fucking business, Cosima." Delphine stands. "We're leaving. Go find Shay if you want someone to flirt with."

Cosima watches them go, and her mind is spinning. "What the fuck," she mutters. She and Delphine are clearly still getting to know each other, but Cosima has never seen her so outwardly angry and certainly not towards her. For the rest of the night, she tries to wrap her head around what the fuck happened. She can't understand why Delphine hadn't broken up with Paul on the spot, much less why she had taken her anger out on her. Cosima has always struggled with boundaries, and she realizes that yes, maybe she shouldn't have said anything. But it's not in her nature to just stand by while a friend gets trampled on, especially not a friend that makes her heart beat fast like Delphine does.

If Cosima is being honest, her natural instinct is to do exactly what Delphine said and then some. Find Shay or someone else to get drunk with, get high with, and maybe fuck. Make her forget about her feelings towards Delphine that she keeps trying to repress and forget about how much she wants to hurt Paul for fucking around on Delphine and trying to control her. Cosima eyes the bottles of liquor behind the bar, and for a minute she thinks she'll pour herself a shot. It would be easy. Nothing she hadn't done a million times before.

Then she thinks of Julian, and his face keeps her from doing it.

* * *

After Paul rolls off of her, breathing hard and clearly satisfied, Delphine turns her back to him and cries. She doesn't make any noise, though it may not matter because soon he is snoring on the other side of the bed. The two hadn't really fought after leaving the bar. Paul had just reiterated to Delphine that she shouldn't be going out to bars or clubs without him because who knows what could happen. He told her she should stay away from "girls like Cosima." She apologized again. Paul asked if she was really sorry and asked her to prove it, then taking her to bed.

It's not like Delphine hadn't seen the girl. In the second that she saw their hands together and their bodies up against each other, she had taken a full look at the woman. She had noticed her perfect hair, perfect boobs, perfect teeth. Everything about her was flawless, and Delphine knew that that woman was objectively more attractive than herself.

As she lies there, tears falling onto her pillow, she pulls the sheet up over her body and pictures that woman again. She wants to be angry at Paul and confront him, ask him why he was bringing another woman out to a club. But Delphine can't bring herself to blame him. Maybe she hasn't been sleeping with him enough or she isn't working hard enough to make herself attractive for him. She's been lazy, and she can admit that. She'll try harder, be prettier, have sex with him more.

Except Delphine has never really liked sex. It's okay but, for her, has always been perfunctory. Her goal has always been to please her boyfriends, but she herself has never gotten much out of it, and none of her boyfriends have made much of an effort to increase her satisfaction.

Paul is one issue, but then Delphine thinks of Cosima. She grabs her phone off the nightstand almost immediately, feeling terrible for yelling at her when she had only been trying to help. Part of Delphine feels honored that she has a friend who is so ready and willing to defend her because she's never had that before. But the other part is incredibly defensive about her relationship with Paul.

Delphine: I'm sorry.

She waits for a response for a long time, locking and unlocking her phone over and over. After a while exhaustion settles in, and she falls asleep.

* * *

"Hey, how are you?"

Shay looks up at Cosima and sighs. Then she looks at Julian and smiles, motioning him over. "Come on, buddy. Let's hang up your stuff."

Cosima is exhausted, frustrated, and still feeling like a terrible person for ignoring Shay after sleeping with her. So she's decided it's up to her to take the first steps towards restoring their friendship. She sticks around by the front door of the daycare while Shay helps Julian hang his stuff up and then sends him over to the play area with the few other children that have already arrived. Cosima offers her a small smile when she sees Shay walking back over to her.

"Um, I brought you tea," Cosima says carefully, holding out a disposable cup to the blonde.

Shay eyes the cup for several seconds, narrowing her eyes. Then she smiles a little and takes it. "Thanks. You didn't have to do that."

Cosima lets out a little nervous laugh, fiddling with the rings on her fingers. "Yeah, I uh… I know, but I just want you to know I'm still sorry and still an asshole, and I know it's on me to fix this."

Smiling, Shay clears her throat and takes a tentative sip of the tea. "So you being all sweet and bringing me tea is supposed to make me just wanna be your friend, right?"

Cosima laughs and shakes her head. "Dude, trust me. You don't want more. I'm a mess."

Growing more serious, Shay says, "Yeah. I do want more, Cosima. And you know that. But you seem to think that if you keep telling me over and over that I don't, I'll start believing it." Cosima begins to speak, but Shay interrupts her. "Look, I'm sorry. Yes, you were an asshole, but I shouldn't have kept pushing for more when you made it clear what you didn't want. But I get it now. I'll back off."

"Shay, I'm sor-"

"Cosima, seriously, you don't have to keep apologizing. I'm a big girl. I'll get over it."

Cosima is still playing with her rings, still nervous because she feels like a terrible person and doesn't want to hurt Shay's feelings. It's not about not being attracted to her. On the contrary, Cosima is very attracted to Shay. And it's not about not wanting to be with her. It's about not wanting to be with anyone. Cosima has managed to maintain a relatively distant life romantically since having Julian. Sure, she flirts. Cosima has learned over the years that that's part of her nature, and it's not something she feels she should repress as a single woman. There's the occasional one night stand, though most are less dramatic than her rendezvous with Shay and Cosima keeps it to a minimum on principle, knowing that if she doesn't at least try to regulate herself, she'll dip back into an unhealthy lifestyle. But she hasn't been in a "real" relationship since she was seventeen. If she's being honest, it's not something she sees in her future, largely because she doesn't trust commitment or relationships, and more importantly, because she doesn't want to be the type of mother that has boyfriends and girlfriends flitting in and out of her son's life.

"So we can still be friends?" Cosima asks somewhat timidly.

Shay sighs and, seeing another parent with two toddlers coming in the door, says, "Of course. We'll be good after some time passes." With a small smile, Shay puts her free hand over Cosima's to still them. "Stop worrying, Cosima. I'm okay. And you're a good person. One shitty thing doesn't change that." With that, Shay steps away to receive the other children.

Cosima feels warm after the touch and smiles to herself. Then she sees the clock on the wall and says too loudly to be in a daycare, "Shit!"

* * *

Realism began ten minutes ago, and Delphine is wondering where Cosima is. The seat she typically occupies next to her is empty, and Delphine's curiosity begins turning into worry quickly for a couple of reasons. First, Cosima never responded to the apology text that Delphine sent Tuesday night. Delphine had sent another on Wednesday asking if the brunette wanted her company at the club that night, but Cosima never responded to that either. The other reason is that Delphine has become consistently worried about Cosima's health and wellbeing now that she knows about many of the responsibilities on the woman's shoulders. Anything could happen.

Twenty minutes into the class, Delphine is considering pulling her phone out and texting Cosima again. Now she's starting to worry not just about her friend, but about Julian, too. Maybe he's sick or something happened with his arm or he sustained a different playground injury. Dr. Leekie, who typically holds Delphine's full attention during this class that she loves, might as well be speaking a different language. The notes she has prepared in front of her have been completely forgotten.

Just as Delphine is about to pull her phone out to text Cosima, the brunette bursts in the door, breathing heavily and muttering a quick apology to Dr. Leekie, who responds, "Ms. Niehaus. Nice of you to join us."

Delphine is happy to see her until Cosima takes a seat in the back of the room instead of next to her.

For the rest of the class, Delphine does her best to pay attention and listen carefully to everyone, including Cosima, who is eager to throw in her thoughts on _Pudd'nhead._

In the hall between Realism and Postmodern, Delphine grabs Cosima's hand and pulls her into a neighboring closet full of janitorial equipment. The light in the small room is dim.

Cosima pulls her hand away from Delphine as soon as they're in and steps away from her. Delphine is blocking the door, so Cosima tries to maneuver around her, but the blonde puts her hands on Cosima's shoulders to keep her in, using her height and strength to block the way.

Cosima continues trying to get out for a few seconds before she finally backs away from the blonde, bumping into a mop bucket and dropping her bag on the floor, almost falling to the floor herself. Managing to catch herself at the last second, Cosima leaves her bag where it is and throws her hands in the air. "Jesus fucking Christ. What are you doing, Delphine?"

"Are you okay?" Delphine responds.

"What do you m-"

"Are you okay?" she repeats.

Sighing, Cosima steps backward in the small space again, careful not to upset any of the equipment this time. "I'm fine, Delphine."

"Is Julian okay?"

"Yes." Cosima tries to ignore the warmth that covers her knowing that that thought even crossed the blonde's mind. After a couple of seconds, Cosima continues, "We have class, Delphine. I know how you like to be early. Come on."

"Not until we talk, Cosima."

Delphine crosses her arms over her chest and leans back against the door. Her hair is awry after their tussle, and she's chewing on her lower lip. The tight black pants, the tall boots, the baby blue shirt, all of it has Cosima staring. She is pissed that Delphine has drawn them into an enclosed space where, despite the purpose of the room and the unsexiness of the situation, all of Cosima's physical desires will undoubtedly bubble up to the surface. She can feel it, feel herself being pulled toward the blonde, and because the pull feels so strong Cosima resists, pushes herself farther away and into the opposite wall next to the mop bucket. She presses everything, even her hands, against the wall and can feel the coldness of it against her hands and the exposed skin of her upper back.

Cosima clears her throat, tries to stop looking at Delphine's tousled hair and her tongue sweeping across her lip after biting it. She closes her eyes for a second and clears her throat. When she opens them, Delphine has stepped closer to her, and she almost stops breathing.

"What do you want to talk about, Delphine?" she manages to get out, though her voice sounds too breathy to be normal so she vows to try harder next time she speaks.

Delphine frowns, takes another tentative step towards the dreadlocked woman. A couple of feet of space still remain between them. Suddenly self-conscious after her impulsive moves a moment ago, Delphine asks, "Are you mad at me? You've been ignoring my texts."

"No, Delphine, I've just been busy, okay?" is Cosima's response. Removing only her hands from the wall, she starts moving her rings around on her fingers.

Delphine wants to get mad because she knows that isn't all it is. But she also knows she's the one who took her anger at Paul out on Cosima. Delphine softens her voice even more, takes one more small step forward. "Cosima, I'm sorry I was so rude to you Tuesday night. I took my feelings out on you, and that wasn't right. I wish I could take it back."

Cosima shakes her head and crosses her arms over her chest to try to still her fingers. For a second she thinks about Shay touching her hands earlier, but only for a second because then her mind and body are overtaken once again by Delphine. "Don't worry about it," she says, now avoiding eye contact with the blonde as much as possible. She looks at the floor or the wall behind Delphine, anywhere but at her. "I'm the one who keeps stepping over the line, so I'm the one who should be sorry."

"No, Cosima," Delphine insists, stepping forward again. Only a few inches separate them now. "I mean, yes you keep bringing up Paul or why he's a bad guy, but I get it, okay? I appreciate you caring about me, but I just need you to know I can handle it on my own. Even now, I can see there's so much you want to say about why I shouldn't be with him after that."

"Delph-"

"Do you think I didn't see her, Cosima?" Delphine says. As she speaks, her eyes fill with tears. "I'm not blind. But clearly if he feels the need to-"

Cosima shakes her head, unable to hold back now because she knows where this is going. "Fucking stop, Delphine. No. It's not your fault he's a dick." She sets her jaw. "Look, I'll keep my mouth shut about it as much as I can. But I'm not going to say nothing when you're thinking these ludicrous things about yourself. You're perfect, and he shouldn't be making you question that."

Delphine can't get angry at this point about the bad things Cosima is saying about Paul, in large part because of the flattery that is coming with it. She doesn't agree with Cosima, but it's still nice to hear. She cries openly but silently now. Taking a shaky breath and biting her lip again, she asks in a small voice, "She was pretty, wasn't she?"

Cosima's body is on fire at Delphine's proximity, but she overlooks it to try to provide some semblance of comfort to the woman. She reaches a hand up to wipe some tears away and then leaves her hand caressing the blonde's cheek as she now makes steady eye contact with her. "No," she responds in a throaty voice. "Not like you."

Delphine hugs Cosima right after she says it, pulling her body from the wall and wrapping her arms around her. She cries audibly into her shoulder now.

The attraction swirling around in Cosima's body mixes with a hot rage towards Paul and a quiet need to comfort her friend. She hugs Delphine and rubs her back as she cries, wishing with everything in her that she could say something or do something to make Delphine believe that she's beautiful and enough and deserves to be treated well. But she just holds her for a while, well past the time for class to begin.

Finally, Delphine, feeling both better for getting her emotions out and embarrassed about the same, pulls away from Cosima's shoulder. She stays planted in her spot, one arm holding onto Cosima's arm while she uses the other to wipe her eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispers. "I shouldn't be crying to you. It's not fair after what I said to you."

"Delphine, it's okay." Cosima reaches one hand up to tuck a piece of hair behind Delphine's ear. "I'm sorry I didn't text you back. I just needed a little time to process and recognize that I need to stop acting the way I do with you."

Sniffing and scrunching her face in confusion, Delphine asks, "What do you mean?" So caught up in her own emotions, she has barely even noticed how close they have been and that they are still locked in an embrace of sorts. Now that the largest wave of her sadness has been released for the moment, Delphine suddenly realizes how close they are, that almost their entire bodies are touching, and her whole body grows warm at the thought. She is sad when she recognizes Cosima trying to get out of the embrace.

Cosima can't quite move out of the hug without a big maneuver, since she's now pressed against the wall again. She looks away and takes a deep breath. "You know what I mean."

"No, I don't." Delphine pauses. "Are you talking about Paul again?"

"Fuck, Delphine," Cosima mutters, half because she's frustrated at having to explain these feelings and half because with the heaviness floating away, she's left only with her pull towards the blonde and their bodies pressed together. "No, I'm not talking about him. I'm talking about this."

"What?" Delphine takes a small half step back, giving Cosima enough room to step around her and to the other side of the small room.

Shaking her head, Cosima reaches to pick up her bag, saying once more, "We need to get to class."

Delphine grabs Cosima's arm so she can't get her bag and urges the brunette to face her. "Don't pretend you care about class or being late. Tell me what you mean."

Exasperated, Cosima whips around and stares straight at her, starting a ramble and talking with her hands. "You said it yourself the other night, Delphine. That if I want to flirt with somebody, I should find someone else and not flirt with you. So once again, I apologize. I realize that you have a boyfriend, and regardless of how I feel about that I shouldn't be flirting with you. And as far as I know, you don't even like women so yet again, I shouldn't be flirting with you. Except I can't fucking stop myself, okay? I mean, I'm generally a flirty person, but mostly I can turn it off when needed. Not with you."

"Why not?" Delphine immediately demands when Cosima stops talking.

"Because," Cosima says. Her voice starts breaking as she speaks again, totally sure that she should shut up but knowing she won't because she can almost feel the words ready to come out. "Because you are beautiful and smart and perfect in every way, but you have no fucking idea and I wish you did. Partly it's because of your mind, because you see the world and literature in a totally different way than I do, and I want to figure it out. And partly because you spent a whole day with me and Julian and actually seemed to enjoy it. And partly because my body just… reacts to you. You'd think that a writer would be able to explain it, but I can't." Cosima picks up her bag, almost feeling dizzy now in the small room. "And because I have to get out of this room because I've wanted to kiss you since we came in here, and that can't happen."

As Cosima is reaching for the door, Delphine pulls on her arm again, this time so hard that she is forced to turn, and when she does Delphine kisses her. She has no idea what she's doing or why, but it feels good.

For half a second Cosima is frozen, but then her body kicks into gear and responds to the kiss, pressing her lips against Delphine's and gripping her hips. Her body is buzzing as she slips her tongue into Delphine's mouth and feels the blonde push back with her own. Her bag falls to the ground again, and she can't help but take control, pushing Delphine against the door and pressing their bodies together again.

Delphine knows she has to stop. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she's hating herself for this because she's with Paul. But in the front of her mind and everywhere else, she feels amazing and, even better, she feels wanted. She continues to deepen the kiss, and as Cosima brings her hands up to Delphine's neck and hair, the latter takes hold of the shorter woman's hips, pulling her ever closer to her body.

Cosima is on overload. The kiss continues for several seconds before she feels the need to taste more of her, breaking her lips away to kiss down the blonde's neck.

But it's too late. Once the disconnect is complete, Delphine realizes what she's done and gasps. She pushes Cosima away with one hand and puts the other over her forehead. "Merde," she breathes. "Merde merde merde."

"Fuck," Cosima mutters. Her body is frustrated, but her mind is worried that now Delphine is going to freak out or never speak to her again or pretend this never happened. She doesn't move closer to her, almost afraid to, but she tentatively reaches for the hand that pushed her away. "Hey, it's okay," she tells her gently.

Delphine doesn't pull her hand away, but she shakes her head and, after a minute, drops her other hand from her forehead. Her eyes are still closed as she responds, "No, it really isn't."

Still holding onto her hand, Cosima says, "Just tell me what to do to fix it or make you comfortable. I don't want to lose our new friendship. I'll stop flirting. I can do it." Cosima is aware she's completely contradicting what she's just said a minute ago, and she still knows she can't totally bury whatever feelings she is having towards Delphine. But she can at least make a concerted effort to not let something like this happen again if that's what the blonde needs from her.

For a minute it's silent, and then Delphine finally opens her eyes. She's on the verge of crying again, but she manages to make eye contact with Cosima. She pulls her hand away and moves off the door, reaching for the handle. "I just… need to take some time… away from you. Okay?"

Cosima's heart hurts when Delphine says it, though she wills it not to because she's only known this woman for a few weeks. And yes, they've been flirting, and yes, she's known that there's something in the woman's smile that makes her heart leap like it hasn't before. But subconsciously knowing that and then finding out that maybe, possibly the blonde might be feeling a little of the same are two different things. Now that she's felt what it could be like, even if only for a few seconds, Cosima doesn't know if she'll be able to let it go or adequately cope with losing Delphine. But she also knows that she has to give her the space she needs.

So she says in a voice nearly a whisper, "Okay," and watches her leave.


End file.
